Writing contest for https://theunsealed.com/contest/write-a-letter-to-a-loved-one-that-you-lost-and-share-how-you-are-honoring-their-legacy-life/
Dear Laura
I have so many questions now that I didn’t have before. Questions I sometimes feel you can only answer. You meet very few pure of heart people in life and you also rarely meet someone pure of heart and authentic. In every way, you knew everything and weren’t afraid to show it.
When I first heard you passed away, I was relieved. All the pain trapped inside of you was gone. To be the strongest tree trapped in a burning forest, unimaginable. I remember the last time I saw you. I won’t say anything indecent, but the cops had to be called to see you. After attempts and phone calls of communication, the cops had to be called. You seemed well, but I honestly don’t think you remembered me. I still try to call, no answer, but I hear things are the best they could be. Now that I’m older, I wish I knew how to do more for the pure of heart and authentic, which was you. I wish I had done more for you.
I deluded myself that you were immortal, or that you were so strong you never leave. But you did. I know you’re going to heaven where you supposed to stay in paradise forever. But you know me and you know I hope you comeback here and that I see you again. I hope I recognize your smile,your laugh, and your amazing web of storytelling.
When I check in on my decisions, I have no regrets about anything I have ever done. Except now I do. I regret that I never told you how inspiring you were. I told you I loved you and I appreciated you but I regret that I never told you how inspiring you were. A person who never gives up on anyone,who truly kept her childhood promise to give good to the world.
You’re actually my great cousin, but I told everyone you were my grandmother. As you know, I don’t really know my grandmother, but you were everything a grandmother was supposed to be. Loving and kind, constantly nagging her granddaughter to be prim and proper for her own good. I hope to be a grandmother like you. I hope to have a daughter like you. So fierce, pure of heart, and authentic. I’ll name her Lauralai for good luck. I hope in heaven you hear my tears when I think about you and my Merry Christmas to your picture. If you are forever in heaven, I hope you hear the stories I will tell her about you.
The day of your funeral, I lied to my dad, saying I was going out of town for a couple of hours just in case he had a hard time reaching me. My dad who was spending his past birthday recovering from a stroke and covid-19. The virus that was separating loved ones even before their last moments. Every day, he was in the hospital. I was afraid the fatal day was coming and I never be able to see him again just like I didn’t get to see you. All I could do was wait for a nurses call to talk to him and even then he was barley half coherent. Then you died and my anxiety for my father cut harder. I couldn’t tell him what happened to you, but at your funeral to be near family was the most comforting. And we spent the rest of the day talking about all the joy in you. Your calmness and how you had the very right answer for everything.
I remember hearing they moved you because on the inside you were no longer there. No one could see or send anything because of the epidemic. At your funeral, I dreaded that for my father. No one deserves that. No one so fierce, pure of heart, authentic, and spiritually devoted as you! No one, especially you, deserves that. I know you know everyone loves you and you will never be forgotten by them. I just hope you know you will never be forgotten by me and how much I hope to one day be like you. When people you to ask me who inspired me,I often try to think of someone famous, I felt I could relate to. I’m still growing up but now I know how to better answer. It’s not about the famous people with money who sign checks for charities, but those who are giving all they can give each day from the heart. That was you. So fierce, pure of heart, authentic, spiritually devoted, and inspiring Laura Sanderson.
